my little paradise...

Sometimes i feel how nice it would be if i could have few things with me always. For it struck me then that I am by nature a clinger. I seek to cling to moments, to experiences that must perforce be transitory. I fear to let them slip by, and so I try to hang on. Isuppose there's a reason when everyone tells you that the college years are the best, to cling to them and all that crap that, while true, can't actually change the pace at which one lives one's college years.

Today i am not myself. I want to rush back to my room and cling on to those cobwebs of my minds, that carries some great memories. There flows a note of silence much more deafening, than the strongest of beats. At times it feels so difficult, sweet, sad , silly but still so real... And so I cling on to things as others have, and others will. And maybe I also let go...of the pieces...with the hope that the whole shall someday come back to me! As a sadistic attempt to worsen the state of mind i was already in I just ended up seeing "Life is Beautiful". I’ll forgive Roberto Begnini for messing with my mind throughout this movie!

I started off for a walk just to catch up with myself! I always feel very comfortable walking alone. I enjoy the lonliness of my walks when i am sad..when i am hurt..it gives me this feeling of stubbornly, defiantly struggling to make it on your own! a sense of accomplishment! But there was Teddy ( a strange name for a doggie) willingly accompanying me on my walk! I couldnt tell him a "No". First because he would refuse to understand the fact that i wanted to be alone and second he can make the saddest looking face no one can't resist. Teddy is a stray dog who has been adopted by our office mates. He has a distinguished brown/tan coat with a little black mixed in. He loves attention!. When he is happy, his both ears will lay forward and make him look like a real sweetheart.

It started raining. For some reason I was afraid I’d melt if I got wet. Teddy went crashing through low hanging vegetation like a mad-dog and had a ball mucking about in puddles on the road. He was oblivious to the rain, sniffing anything that moved and some disgusting stuff that hadn’t moved in a long time. Don’t know what set me off, but I suddenly felt incredibly free and alive. I discarded my inhibitions and went face up into the falling rain. I was peppered with thousands of little slaps. It felt so good I shouted "thanks, I needed that," to no one in particular. It was wringing wet out there, but the evening was warm and the air was full of fresh smells and sounds I’d long forgotten. To Teddys delight, we even splashed around in a huge puddle together. He was blissfully wagging his tail with utmost sincerity as if trying to teach me the lifes most important lesson that life will move you in he rhythm and direction of its own nature. Each momet is a fresh moment in the dance and if you are lost in clinging to the past or clinging to your hopes or fear of the future you are not present for the dance.

I don’t know about cats but when it starts raining dogs, I’m joining in the fun from here on in.