my little paradise...

I am sitting in front of my computer which inturn sits on a semi hexagonal table. I spent the earlier part of the day working on a spreadsheet with multicolours emphasizing the significance of those revenue figures. Lots of work to do for the day. But I get this enormous satisfaction blogging in such hours. I try to have a look at the things lying on my worktable and let me list out those clutters here...

A computer which is staring at me with a blank look and an equally sophisticated mouse proving our partnership with MS. A terrible mess of wires running between the computer and the CPU in all shades of black white and grey. And there goes a wire running upto those soft black foam interiors of the headphones which luxuriously cradles me with a fusion music! Well my colleagues around feel that headphones should have a little LED in the middle that lights up to indicate sound levels. That way, they can tell if I am really listening to music, or just having the headphones on and listening to every dumb word( one of those "ssshhh women" jokes ) that they share.

In either sides of my computer lies those hi-tech Shorelines and the extension phone conveniently echoing at the perfect time interpreting the most intimatest of my thoughts. Well have you ever pressed 9 buttons for a six digit number... I need to everyday if the number consists of eight and zero with three extra times of pressing the arrogant eight/zero. I am prepared for this and all the more as long as the phone helps me in saving those Rs2/min charges of my cellphone.

Next to my phones lies my authentic, exceptional handbag that houses anything that I stuff in....Sorry to those who cant stop thinking about the brutality that went into this leather handbag.

Don't get me started on the cell phone thing. Sure, I've got one. How else would my dear ones be able to keep a permatab on my absolutely up to no good whereabouts? There lies this small cell pouch next to my handbag ...Well that's for my cell phone. Trust me it was a "cell hell' to find my phone when it used to lie amongst the junks in my handbag. So it struck me as to why not should I give it due respect and hence the pouch. Now when I have done all this why the hell should I turn my cell phone off and revel momentarily in my self imposed unavailability during the meetings. Go head; turn your cell phone ring on the highest, most annoying volume. Wait for calls. Really, you should do this anyway, no matter if it's Cross functionl meetings, church, the opera, or a funeral. You need to be accessible!" Did anyone call?"you are important!

A green transparent water jug stands there on my right..who hates being half full! The moment the water level drops down..Looks like he would give out a wail and the office boy comes running to satisfy his urge of being filled till the brim.

I love Mugs. This one was gifted by my dad. A blue and a white one. So why wont I have it right next to me especially when it claims me to be a lovely sweet little angel of utter loveliness! Thank you Dad! I definitely wanted to use this as a tea mug! But then I would end up drinking 5 cups of tea as this is a jumbo one! Three is pretty damn good. I wouldn't say I am an addict or anything. Ofcourse, one of those first stages of addiction is denial. Its not like I hang out on the street at night dealing tea " hey man, you know where I can score some tea?" So now I use this cup to store those stationeries. More than me using them it is for those who come in desperately in search of those scissors,pens,staplers, tapes and gums. Well..Something to show off right!

Now let me get back to work. And work includes fooling around with my spreadsheet....And generating a better sales target! Whew! Don't you think I deserve a medal with a capital E for blogging in such crucial hours!

Sometimes i feel how nice it would be if i could have few things with me always. For it struck me then that I am by nature a clinger. I seek to cling to moments, to experiences that must perforce be transitory. I fear to let them slip by, and so I try to hang on. Isuppose there's a reason when everyone tells you that the college years are the best, to cling to them and all that crap that, while true, can't actually change the pace at which one lives one's college years.

Today i am not myself. I want to rush back to my room and cling on to those cobwebs of my minds, that carries some great memories. There flows a note of silence much more deafening, than the strongest of beats. At times it feels so difficult, sweet, sad , silly but still so real... And so I cling on to things as others have, and others will. And maybe I also let go...of the pieces...with the hope that the whole shall someday come back to me! As a sadistic attempt to worsen the state of mind i was already in I just ended up seeing "Life is Beautiful". I’ll forgive Roberto Begnini for messing with my mind throughout this movie!

I started off for a walk just to catch up with myself! I always feel very comfortable walking alone. I enjoy the lonliness of my walks when i am sad..when i am hurt..it gives me this feeling of stubbornly, defiantly struggling to make it on your own! a sense of accomplishment! But there was Teddy ( a strange name for a doggie) willingly accompanying me on my walk! I couldnt tell him a "No". First because he would refuse to understand the fact that i wanted to be alone and second he can make the saddest looking face no one can't resist. Teddy is a stray dog who has been adopted by our office mates. He has a distinguished brown/tan coat with a little black mixed in. He loves attention!. When he is happy, his both ears will lay forward and make him look like a real sweetheart.

It started raining. For some reason I was afraid I’d melt if I got wet. Teddy went crashing through low hanging vegetation like a mad-dog and had a ball mucking about in puddles on the road. He was oblivious to the rain, sniffing anything that moved and some disgusting stuff that hadn’t moved in a long time. Don’t know what set me off, but I suddenly felt incredibly free and alive. I discarded my inhibitions and went face up into the falling rain. I was peppered with thousands of little slaps. It felt so good I shouted "thanks, I needed that," to no one in particular. It was wringing wet out there, but the evening was warm and the air was full of fresh smells and sounds I’d long forgotten. To Teddys delight, we even splashed around in a huge puddle together. He was blissfully wagging his tail with utmost sincerity as if trying to teach me the lifes most important lesson that life will move you in he rhythm and direction of its own nature. Each momet is a fresh moment in the dance and if you are lost in clinging to the past or clinging to your hopes or fear of the future you are not present for the dance.

I don’t know about cats but when it starts raining dogs, I’m joining in the fun from here on in.